Mmmm…

…mmm

Today was a Perfect day! signed Mr. Aaron. 

When I pick up Noah at the end of the school day he has a ‘cat ate the bird’ look. The same look that Sylvester the Cat has in the rare instances when he’s swallowed Tweety Bird. Generally, it is just a moment before something terrible happens to him.

Hard to know if Noah has good news or bad news. He has been getting in trouble in school lately, so it’s always a toss up.

Noah is holding something back. We begin the walk home. He’s hopping with trepidation.  Half a block later, he stops suddenly.

“Dad, dad, I absolutely have to show you something.”

“Here?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“School related?”

“Yes.”

He drops his bag in the middle of the sidewalk. The rush hour tide splits around us.

“Noah, I prefer getting home first so we can look at stuff properly.”

“Dad, dad, I gotta show you.”

All I see for the moment are papers and notebooks and pencil cases about to explode on the sidewalk. I look for a refuge and spot a park bench that has not yet been removed in the city’s undeclared war against loiterers, like me.

“Come.”

I grab Noah by the collar and drag him and his bag to the bench.

He’s hardly noticed, so engrossed is he in his mission. His toque is askew, his sweater and his coat are open and flapping in the wind. Sometimes he looks so small, like a fevered mite struggling for space.

I sit on the bench beside his bag, Now I’m at his height. He hands me  a sheet of paper.

It’s his Daily Progress Report instituted by his teacher (see post: No Passaran!). It chronicles his efforts on a number of dimensions like listening, working, respecting…M is for doing the right thing Most or all of the time, P for Part of the time.

He’s been getting lots of P’s and a rare M. And the occasional detention.

I unfold the paper, fully expecting Tweety Bird to flutter in my face.

I see M’s everywhere. Every dimension, and there are eight on the report.

I look up at Noah. He’s wide-eyed, expectant. His mouth, filled with a charmingly crooked mix of baby and adult teeth, is stretched in the widest of smiles.

“All M’s !?!”

“Yeeeeeeessssssssss.” So loud that for a fraction of a moment the whole city seems to go quiet to pay attention.

“And look at what he wrote, here, look, here, dad.”

His rainbow stained fingers, colored by the day’s arts class, poke at the paper.

A handwritten note.

What a pleasure to learn with Noah, today.

I look at Noah. He’s nodding, bobble-headed with an adrenaline rush.

Today was a Perfect day! signed Mr. Aaron.

“Wow, Noah.”

“A perfect day, Dad!” Excited disbelief.

“And how does it feel?”

“Grrrreeeaaaaaaaattttttttttttt !!!!” My lion cub roars.

I hug him. Just the right height.

“How did you do it?”

“I did like you told me. On the bus, like, this is what I did. I told myself over and over. M’s I want M’s, only M’s I hate P’s, No excuses , No limits, Only M’s. I went like that all the way to homeroom. Man, dude… sorry, dad, I was sooooo concentrated. My brain was like phoooosssshhhh! a laser. Cool huh dad?”

“Hyper-super-mega-giga-maxi-cool.”

“Hah.”

He’s dancing on the spot. I feel like Ginger Rogers to his Gene Kelly.

A perfect day. A challenge to all the days to come.

 

new, old…

…future forgotten

This morning, the TV asks a question which ignites a discussion which gets me thinking.

Good thing. I had no idea what to think about, today.

“Do you like the classic Looney Tunes or are the new Looney Tunes your favourites? Vote at….” in that annoying kids network announcer voice.

“What do you vote, dad?”

“Hands down the old Looney Tunes.”

Geez, now I feel like the old geezer who always chooses stuff from his generation over current stuff.

Stuff reassures…especially old stuff.

Yet, I’ve spent most of my life using, abusing and throwing away stuff. old and new.

“Me, I like the new ones better. The drawings are like cooler and the lines are way funnier.”

“Yeah, but its not the same voices.”

Mel Blanc used to do them all.  I rememember a wonderful homage in Variety Magazine the day he died…all the Looney Tunes standing in silence, hands on their hearts.

The new Bugs, Daffy and the rest have voices that resemble but are not the original. And they will become the new originals. Pity.

“Yeah, dad, the first time I saw them I thought like ‘hey what’s that?’. They didn’t sound like they were themselves. But now its ok.”

“But is it better?”

Everything old is eventually forgotten. Or worse… remade.

Classic movies, classic cars, classic fashions are all rethought, remade and sold again. New/old….Nold.

They’re even redoing the Three Stooges.

“I don’t know, dad. You know, maybe I like them both. I hate choosing…just haaaaate choosing.

“But the TV asked the question?” I am a little perverse.

“Yeah, but they just want you like to log in, you know, so that when you’re on their website, you buy stuff.” Media savvy little man that I have.

It’s 1984 all over again.

Remaking history, modifying, retelling it….so there is no longer any real memory, no facts, just a vague, manipulated shadow of what really was.

In Orwell’s vision it was an all powerful government. He got that wrong…its all powerful money that sucks out meaning.

A scandal which leads to dire consequences.

Exhibit One: Bugs Bunny now lives in a bungalow with Daffy (I can hear the right wing cries that it celebrates a gay lifestyle) and drives a car.

“But it would be cool, eh dad, if like our neighbor was a rabbit who lived with a duck?”

“Weird.”

“And cool.”

I can’t get into this constant reinvention.  What’s the point of doing anything if it only becomes fodder for the future, which will also be forgotten as soon as it comes about?

“Oh, that’s so funny…did you hear that, dad? Bugs said … ”

Damn, I missed the punchline. Too busy trying to figure out the meaning of the joke.

 

 

don’t…

…touch

This morning my boy sobbed, real hard, a dry hacking sob that shook his tiny frame.

I instantly swept him up into my arms. Held him as hard as he was sobbing.

“I’ll get her back, dad, I promise.”

My heart exploded. Again.

Like a Looney Tune cartoon where a predictable disaster keeps happening to the coyote in ever more original variations.

Noah was talking about his babysitter.

I thought of his mother, who left years ago in a dramatic meltdown. Does he feel responsible?

I thought of my Mother, who died almost a month ago. I’ve been dragging around a raw sadness. Does he want to repair me?

Last night he mistreated his sitter in that mini-macho mode he sometimes adopts. Acts like a bitchy middle aged man (imitating his dad?). An urgent phone call pulled me out of a film premiere which I had dragged myself to in the first place (its part of my valiant efforts to preserve my career as a film director). She was in tears, he was close to… .

After “parenting” I hung up and felt like finding a carpet to disappear into. Instead I kicked myself back into the movie.

A story of endless love across multiple lives. Man, even if I shoot myself, I have to start over? Maybe reincarnation is the punch line to this joke of a life.

Noah stops sobbing.

My Looney Tune heart is ready for another comical catastrophe.

“You don’t need to bring anybody back, Noah. Alissa told me she really cares for you. She just wants to be respected. Ok?”.

He nods and wipes his nose on my sleeve.

Yes, love is a many splendor-ed mucous munificence.

Last night, after the movie, at the party of the glitterati at which I felt like the proverbial moth, I wanted only one thing… to lean my head against someone.

To sob.

To wipe my nose against someone’s sleeve. To feel their heart explode with mine.

The perfect way to hang a ‘don’t touch’ sign around my neck.

Don’t touch…danger of falling in love.

“Dad, I think I’ll tell Keegan today that I think she’s hot.”

Keegan is in Grade Six. He’s in Grade three.

“Do you think, like, that I should?”

“Yes.”  Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes……

“What if she laughs at me?”

“Then she’s a fool and you’ll know it.”

He’s checking himself in the mirror, wondering whether the puffy eyes look good or not.

“I love you, Dad.”

“I love you too, Noah.”

Don’t touch, it hurts. Touch, it hurts. Don’t touch…